The Cherry on the Top
I have been given an AWARD, readers! And not just any award- it’s a mofo CUPCAKE award. If I wasn’t such a hardened cyncical bitch, I would write you up a Celine-Dion-at-the-Grammies acceptance speech. My heart will, after all, go on. And on.
But I am a hardened, cynical bitch, so I will not. Instead, I will follow the mofo Cupcake Award rules:
1. Thank the person who tagged you. Thank you Seeking Elevation! Seeking Elevation and I have a love-hate relationship– I love her blog, and I hate that she is a better writer than I am. You should click your arse over there right now and read her. She deserves fawning minions. And comments. Don’t forget to comment. Bloggers get little bloggy erections over those things.
2. Insert award into post:
3. Name 3 things you love about yourself. This is suspiciously therapeutic, but here goes: I make people laugh, I am pretty smart, and I have cute little smurfy toes. Okay, enough with the touchy-feely self-esteem shit.
4. Post a photo that you love. Going to cheat here and post two, because as a middle-aged mother, I have 10,000 digital photos to choose from. The first is a picture of me and my daughter on the Great Wall of China, taken about a week after she came to us (and a few weeks before I had time to take care of the David Cassidy hair disaster).
The second is a more recent shot that shows my favourite of her smiles:
[I am too still a hardened, cynical bitch.]
5. Tag 5 people to pass this award along to. Again, you should totally click your arse over and read these folks. They are all parents, but if you call them Mommy Bloggers, I will probably have to cut you.
- Attack of the Redneck Mommy
- Checking the Electrical Box
- Mommyhood and Life
- Mommy Wants Vodka
- Mumma Boo x 2
So where does this leave Humanity? I suppose it could be a point for the Apocalypse when someone like me (reminder: hardened cynical bitch) gets a mofo Cupcake Award. But I LOVE my mofo Cupcake Award. So I think I will award the point to Humanity for the very existence of blog culture. Because although I will never meet any of these women, they are somehow dear friends, and if Humanity is capable of coming up with a system that allows you to feel connected to people you will never meet, then it deserves at least one big fat point from me.
The Apocalypse: 13.5