The Apocalypse takes an early lead
Despite sporadic posting and a final farewell note acknowledging that I could no longer keep up my old blog Letters to My Therapist, I continue to attract tens of fans. Okay, most of them are probably friends and family, but people still find their way there, and it makes me nuts. There is attention to be had and I am not really having it. Clearly, I need a new shtick. Enter Humanity vs. The Apocalypse.
I have decided to appoint myself judge of the universe, according weekly points either to Humanity or The Apocalypse (the ultimate zero-sum game) based on my assessment of whether or not we deserve to survive. It’s a perfect shtick. No more scratching my head trying to come up with ideas for a blog. No more scattered posts that can’t make up their minds what they’re about. And lots of opportunities to be cynical, judgmental, harsh and sentimental. And in a shameless attempt to generate comments, I invite you, my friends of the Interweb, to play along by submitting your opinions, suggestions, and fawning adoration.
After deep consideration, I have decided to award the inaugural point to The Apocalypse, in recognition of the international media’s decision to devote a block of its time today not to war, pestilence, famine and the like, nor to humanitarian workers, freedom fighters, or grannies who knit mittens for the homeless, but to Tiger Woods, a man who makes his living hitting little white balls across pesticide-ridden lawns. And by wearing clothing with swooshies on it. Who feels he must apologize to the world for having extra-marital affairs.
The Apocalypse: 1